Winning the Window War

About a week and a half ago new people moved in next door. Our old neighbors were great, so these folks had a lot to live up to. Our old neighbors met all four of the criteria that Tony and I, based on our previous experience with apartment-style neighbors, have come look for in a good neighbor. First, they had cats for Milo and Sadie to talk to. Second, they (the humans, not the cats) kept quiet and never bothered us. Third, they did not have children who thought it was fun to throw a ball at our front door at SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAYS... (I mean I know they were these sad foster kids who had terrible childhoods and were abused by their drug-addled parents but my HEAVENS I was starting to see why). And finally, since our windows are about 10 feet apart, they kept all their blinds down; 24/7.

Well these newbies do not have a cat (minus 1), but they do have a large dog whose bark fascinates our cats (plus .5) So far, they had one large party (-1), but it wasn't loud (+ .5) and it was right after they moved in; possibly a house-warming party (permissible, +.5). We were not invited (-1). They don't know us (fine; they get +.5 back). As for the obnoxious children...it's too soon to tell really, but I'm thinking they don't have kids (it's still an unknown, but if they do have kids - they haven't bothered us; we'll give them +1).

So we're back at zero (I think, I'm a lawyer - math isn't my strong suit). Thus the ultimate determination of their neighborliness was left to the question of WINDOWS COVERINGS...

Minus 234987567238467823409823. They left them open. ALL THE TIME.

Obviously, they were not aware that WE had reserved the right to leave our blinds up at all times (such nice natural light here) and thus they needed to close their blinds. I mean we have to have some privacy here!

It's been a fierce struggle.

Who can eat breakfast in the least appealing attire? I think I won that battle: bathrobe & towel-turban beats khakis & an undershirt.

Who can wash dishes in the grubbiest pjs? They were victorious: raggedy boxers & a grayish-white tee-shirt beats the uber-stylish Victoria's secret heart pjs Tony bought me last Valentine's Day.

Who's television programming is most annoying? That was kind of a draw actually: Everybody Loves Raymond (them) does get old, but Family Guy (us) is not a show that any self-respecting adult wants to admit they still watch.

But today, my friends, the battling ended.


This morning as we awoke to prepare breakfast - Honeynut cheerios with skim milk, coffee, and, YES MOTHER, cantaloupe - we saw the white of their surrender flag/ closed blinds. Joyously, we sounded the trumpets (coffee maker) and called the troops home ("Sadie! Get OFF the table!").


What is there left to say except: Well folks, welcome to the neighborhood.

(Post Script:
Dear New Neighbors,

In the event we ever get to be friends, or even just meet you, I would like to apologize in advance for this post. It was most unfriendly of me. Perhaps we could work out some sort of blind-closing schedule? Maybe Mondays-Wednesdays-Fridays/ Tuesdays-Thursdays-Saturdays and then we split Sundays? Or, if that's a bit too much opening and closing, one of us gets one Wednesday a month, every other weekend, and holidays?

Until then though, keep 'em closed folks...nothing to see here.)